What's up with Me?

I guess I am now ready to reveal my story of my current condition now.

I am not writing this to raise any sympathy or whatsoever,and if you have been following me for a long time,you know how much I avoided writing stuff that aren't necessary and giving no benefits to others.

I want to share my experience,and how I am coping with this illness at the moment.

So,it started on 31st August,about 3 weeks ago.The morning I woke up,I realized I hds a numb sensation in my ear,it was deafness in my right ear.I completely heard nothing with it!

I thought it wasn't as serious,because I had a thought it had something to do with ear wax blocking.

So,I continued my day without thinking much about it,and on Sunday I went to see a normal doctor regarding my condition.

Doctor examined and said my right ear was full with hard ear wax and provided me with a solution prescription and noted to me to clean the ear wax by myself.

I did,and my hearing got better than before,but the mild losing sensation was still there.

Only 2 days after that,when I woke up from bed,I realized there was something ringing in my ear.It wasn't loud,subtle, but constant.

I still went to the office and took half day leave and proceeded with meeting another normal doctor.The doctor suspected ear infection and provided me with several prescriptions.

But the ringing sensation in my right still hasn't gone.

I was worried and later I proceeded to meet an ENT specialist to check my condition.

The doctor performed an examination by sucking my ear wax and later he suspected my ear drum was inflammated.

Upon leaving,my ear is still full with ringing,and not long after my first visit to the doctor,I made a second visit and after an audiology hearing test,and the test result was bad for my condition,the doctor suspected that I am suffering with a rare illness called "Sudden Onset Sensoneural Hearing loss".

Yes,scary as it sounds,that's the illness that I am having now.Although in my condition,my right ear hearing is still good,it is just the tinnitues(ringing sensation in my hear)that keeps haunting me day and night.

It has been over 2 weeks now,and the doctor provided me with several strong prescription like steroids and some multivitamins for my ear.

I made a big research regarding my illness,how does it occur and what to do for prevention,only to find out that the chance to recover depends on the individual.Some may recover fully or partially with right treatment at right time,and some may suffer it as permanent.

I haven't seen any good result regarding my prescription taking,only to find out some side effect from taking the highly dosed of the steroids,like I have gained weight especially on the facial area(damn!),but I keep praying and praying that this illness will go away and so that I can get my normal happy life back.

About over a month ago,I was the happiest girl in the world to be married to a caring and loving guy,it only lasted for a few weeks before I was diagnosed with this rare illness.

I am thankful to God anyway,because if He didn't give this illness,I may not reach closer to him.

"He may give you the things you don't need in your life,and He may not give you what you really need in your life"

For now,I am coping better with this illness and I want to stay stronger everyday for me,for my husband,for our future kids and for my religion.

I have a very understanding family and husband who always there for me in situation like this.I feel so blessed each day when my family and husband keep asking about my condition and they are also doing their best to help me,to regain the old me.

There are times when I feel so down with my current condition,all I could do was crying and crying,feeling all alone coping with this test,but I regain fast because I know,God loves me and this is why he is testing me,to see my iman.

If one day I may be destined to live with hearing aid,I have no option but to accept.

Ya Allah,

Rabbi Yassir Wala Tu 'asir

Please pray for my speedy recovery too,friends ;)